The End of First Quarter.

It was Monday morning and I was drinking coffee, browsing journal articles, and skimming for possible explanations for the result of my last week's experiment. I was busy making my lab report that contains unexplained data and silently praying that my professor will not have any bizarre idea for my next week's task. I was supposed to write a rant post about the never-ending failures of my experiment. 

But then I looked at my calendar that says "August 25" and realized that hey, it's my 6th month in Korea! I've lived for exactly half a year, two seasons, twenty four weeks in the Land of the Morning Calm. 

And in that span of time I have experienced many first times:

- my first snowfall. It was almost two in the morning and I was on my way home when that first drop of snow hit my face. I had fever that time but I spared a minute to enjoy my first ever snowfall. 

- first spring. Cherry blossoms are beautiful. I have no words for it! Pink trees all over the pavement, flowers blooming everywhere.. thank God for all of it. 

- cooked my first Adobo and Chopsuey! I never knew how to cook anything when I was in the Philippines. My recent weight gain due to excessive frying motivated me to cook healthier and more delicious food other than fried eggs. 

- bought a phone entirely on my own money. And it felt five times more expensive. 

- got lost in a city and had to get my way back by... taxi. Of course.

- cried in the subway. Hey I was lonely, stressed, frustrated, and emotional so I was very fragile. Cut me some slack haha. 

- cried involuntary in the lab. With my labmates with me. Good news: I wiped the girly tears right away. Sad news: They saw the red eyes. 

- became good friends with students from different parts of the world. And boy have I learned a lot of things. 

So many things have happened to me and surely more things will continue to happen. Whenever I think that I have lived this length of time away from home, it motivates me to go on and live more. To bear more. To learn more. My story goes on. Six months done, eighteen precious months to go. 

My dream abs

Is so hard to get. And when I finally got some, it stays only for a short while. But nevertheless I'm not giving up on it. 

Why am I Single?

In the seven years that I have been writing my thoughts in this little blog, I have never ever said anything about the matters of my heart, my relationship status, my dating life, or whatever you call it. I think it’s time to address the big elephant in the room. *Drumroll*

I am single. In my twenty three years of living, I have never been in a relationship. And I cannot count the number of times I get asked about the reason behind it and the vague answers that I gave them; also the many times I wanted to strangle people who gave assumptions as to why I am this way: 

“It’s because you’re too choosy! I think you’ve got very high standards!”

“Guys are so intimidated by you!”

“You’ve got this very strong personality as if you don’t need a partner in your life. You have this independent vibe. Try to be needy.”

“You’re beautiful, smart, rich and funny. You’re almost perfect. You don’t deserve a loser guy in your life.” 

Oh yeah I totally just made up the last one. 

Maybe they’re trying to help but I just want to say that it’s really offensive to shame my single status as if it’s my fault and as if it’s a mistake to be one.

Yes, it's sad when all of my friends aren't available to go with me to the movies, no one to hang-out with during weekends or Valentines day etcetera, etcetera. And I won't deny the nights that I've thought about the reason as to why I'm not dating and the days when I kept on saving my self-esteem from falling apart. 

The various reasons as to why I haven't been in a relationship range from "I was so young back then" to "I was just not feeling it" and all boils down to "Me and my choices." It's me. I could have flirted to any guy who shows interest in me and adios singledom -- but I didn't.

I don't want to be in a relationship for the sake of having one. I don't want to date just for the perks of having a constant company, instagifts, flowers and chocolates and butterflies. And even if days get lonely, I don't want to date just because I feel miserable.

I enjoy being alone as much as being with a company. I enjoy many activities such as eating out, cooking, reading, travelling, watching movies and running -- all by myself. I'm not saying that it's better than being with someone but my life doesn't need a man to be happy. Because I'm single, I can freely discover new places and meet new people. I can shape my life and plan my future without a man's influence on my decisions. I can write my own story.

I want to date when I'm happily contented with myself. When my life is already filled with stories and adventures that I did when I was still alone. When my mind is overflowing with ideas and passion. When my heart is full of happiness and contentment with how my life is going. When all that is left for me is to share it with someone. Someone who is willing to continue writing the story with me.

They say we meet the right person through luck, randomness and circumstance and we won't see him coming. But until that day comes, I'd like to keep myself busy and not date every guy who appears in front of me. I don't think it is a bad thing at all.