the superficial

by - 9:55 PM

I was on my home when a sudden man caught my attention. He was wiping the side mirrors of the jeep and laying his palms in front of the driver, surely asking for some coins. The driver did not want to give him any, but his hands were persistent to have some. The driver gave him some after a long, hurting glare.

I could not keep my mind off that miserable thought. How many side mirrors does that man have to wipe for him to have enough money for dinner? In fact, how much is he earning out of that? Are his earnings even enough to buy himself some decent food? I could not fathom that horrible truth.

I feel sympathy towards those people. I really do. I am on my highest feeling of gratitude and honor for the Lord everytime I see them. This fact jolts my stomach, and makes me feel thankful and so blessed for what I have right now. It makes me feel happy and contented. It makes me stop wanting more. And most of the times, that fact makes me feel guilty.

  • for wanting more clothes even though my closet doesn't have enough space to hang everything.
  • for spending money on bags, even though i couldn't even use half of the bags I own.
  • for forever complaining about my dry hair to my mom, while she was cooking though not feeling well.
  • for being so maarte on stuffs I buy.
  • for not giving importance, appreciation and proper care to my things.
  • for not being able to thank my dad for everything.
I'm guilty for being a very superficial, discontented and materialistic.

The reality that not all people are blessed and well-priledged like the chosen few; the fact that what my mom has continuously been saying everytime I refuse to eat, "maraming tao ang nagugutom", is true --- these reality BITES, and it's really hurting me now.

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