Love.. really what the hell? 

I have no idea. 

I once reached the stage where I was one step closer to entering a relationship, and I did feel the "special feelings". But I wasn't even in a relationship when I already got tired of talking to the guy and I got annoyed easily. I had to make excuses why I had to make him stop and I still use that excuse whenever somebody asks me why I did it. Yeah that was very bitchy of me. 

I just don't get it. Or maybe I get what love is but I just can't picture myself being part of the love story. I don't like guys prying over my business and making me tell stories involving people they do not know. I hate it when someone reads my messages. I hate it when I have to be sweet and cuddly just because of being "in a relationship". I do not like to have someone to text all day about my whereabouts because "he gets worried". Fudge, I hate it when someone treats me like a kid. 

Don't get me wrong. I am not a loser single on a Valentines Day. I believe in love. I like to see my roommate being always in-love. It always makes me smile. I like reading romantic novels and I do believe that Landon Carter-type of guys once existed, they just got extinct. I stand firm that the love story of Noah and Allie in The Notebook is the greatest love story ever told, and I hope that one day mine will be like that. I believe in love. I believe in its magic once it comes to people. I just.. don't want it to come to me any time soon because I think I'll become the bitch I was before. Because if there's one thing I can't be good at, it's showing and feeling love.