I am HD

Being part of the ES for two years, I must say that I am totally new to the Chemical Engineering family. I had no idea that the 3rd year ChE students are the ones always assigned to organize the ChES pageant. And boy, it was so difficult. I was one of the runners -- to Jolis, to Educ Audi, to backstage, to balcony, to backstage, to balcony. What the hell. But all the stress and exhaustion had afforded an exceptional bonding and friendship. Very much worth it. :)

A decade ago. Back when we still don't regularly brush our teeth and refuse to have an appointment with the dentist so we had to learn the hard way of dental care -- the slow decay of our teeth. Hehe.

I said it on my Facebook and I'll say it again: The only thing great about New Moon is Jacob Black and the soundtrack. The rest is either dull or cheesy.

For me, it's a movie that cannot stand on its own. It's a movie adapted from a novel, period. It was like they were following the book, in a non-cinematic way. The acting isn't impressive. Gah, Kirsten's sullen aura and Rob Pattinson's poor line delivery (honestly, did you understand everything that he said?) were something very consistent in the two films. From an outsider's point of view, no one would've guessed that Edward and Bella were lovers because they looked awkward with each other. I'd gladly even give the "Most Awkward Character award" to Bella.

But the werewolves and soundtrack were an offset to all these boring elements. No kidding. Aside from the wolves' very much attractive bodies (Sorry but I really don't count Sam Uley as one of the gorgeous werewolves) and beautifully tanned skins, they gave the film a deal of excitement. The score used was really fitted and complemented the scenes. Dakota Fanning did not disappoint too. Her acting was brilliant. But she should've been more exposed, if I were the director.

Overall the movie was boring and cheesy. But it's still better than Twilight. The next installment is directed by yet another man, David Slade (who has recently impressed me after I watched Hard Candy). Let's see if he'll make up to all the cheese in the two films by adding more spice.

I know that I will be having problems with my sleep during the first weeks of my stay at the dorm. I am not comfortable sleeping on other beds, so I figured that it will be a problem. My sleeping problem became okay as the months go by. There were just a night or two that I wasn't able to sleep due to anxiety. But that was that.

Until the finals. The last time I slept was Monday evening and the next time I was able to sleep was on Thursday morning. Hey, not because I was killing myself to studying; I just can't sleep. You can ask Ghel. I was crying, twisting and turning on my bed due to frustration. Who wouldn't be frustrated? My brain was spent the whole day and still I couldn't sleep for the very little given time that I have for rest; add the scary thought that kept on bugging me "How can I answer the finals without any sleep?" -- if you were in my shoes, who wouldn't cry?? Carrying on for one day without getting any sleep is one ugly thing, but keeping your brains healthy without getting any sleep for more than 36 hours on exams week is almost suicidal. But I soldiered on. Thank God.

I tried to fix my problem during the break. I slept early for the whole sembreak, hoping that it'll fix my body clock just in time for the new semester. But what the hell, it's been two weeks already since the sem started and it's been two weeks, too, that I have not gotten a decent sleep! My mom scheduled an appointment with my doctor, but heavens, she happened to be in a convention. The doctor who attended to me couldn't give me anything but multivitamins. But my dermatologist keeps on telling me that multivitamins will keep my face on breaking out. So what now? :(

Please. I want to sleep. Please. Please. Just thinking about how hard it is for me to sleep makes me want to cry. All the massive headaches, chest pains, and weak limbs and balance that I feel whenever I couldn't sleep for the whole night is no laughing matter. :(

I hope you'll sleep well.

-Heidy

P.S. Sorry for the wrong grammars and incoherence. Wasn't able to proofread it. And I believe I used the word 'sleep' one too many times. Sowry. Hehe.

15 random things about me.

1. I am a soon-to-be Thomasian Chemical Engineer, and I will have fulfilled that by March 2012. Meanwhile, I am halfway through my studies and why ofcourse, I enjoy altogether everything about college and our university.

2. I am the eldest in the family, or in other words, the future breadwinner.

3. I have a thing about cars and beautiful girls. Does that make me a homo?

4. Oh, but for the record, I am straight -- as straight as my chemically-treated dry hair.

5. I love everything that pleases my eyes. Beautiful faces, places, quotes, etc -- as long as it looks awesome in my eyes. And actually, that's what my tumblr is filled with nowadays.

6. I love to talk. As if that needs some more explaining.

7. My english has started to deteriorate and has become nonexistent the moment I took up Engineering. That's why I am holding on to blogging, hoping for the little english left of me to be saved.

8. I am a sucker for korean dramas. I think I have watched Princess Hours more than five times already, or maybe six?

9. Call me jologs, but I really think Piolo Pascual is the most handsome Filipino celebrity today.

10. For me, the best love stories ever written are found in The Notebook and Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas.

11. Give me anything good and I will watch it. Only don't expect me to like everything, except if it is Will Smith's.

12. I am pretty much an open book. When I am happy, I talk. When I am sad, I talk, too.

13. I am not a warfreak. That's where I draw my talk-and-talk line. If I don't like you, I won't talk to you.

14. I am not a masochist. I don't like to inflict myself any physical pain; in short, I don't exercise.

15. This blog is filled up with pretty much everything that is mine. So respect, okay?

When you are at the bottom, you will see clearly who leaves behind and who lends a hand to try and lift you up.

Whatever happened to my writing? It all have become random and nonsense; filled up with grades and school ranting. I admit that school is really my focus every time the semester starts but I also understand that whoever reads this blog does not care if I got a 1.75 in Mechanics or not. Some of them doesn't understand what the hell I have been talking about. I think I should stop all that.

There came Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Lookbook, etcetera etcetera. But I still think Multiply is one of the best sites ever created. It's one of the sites that I  filled with sense and thoughts, and I wouldn't want to put it into waste.

Who loves the quiet? I really really do. Spending the quiet, cold ber-nights by listening to music, reading a nice book, or simply laying still on my bed and pondering on life. It's something rare and intangible; that despite the frenzied life that I face every day, I still have a moment to myself.

"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken." -Oscar Wilde

Whenever I watch my sister say hi to my aunts all the time, visit my neighbors'/relatives' house everyday, play with my grandmother, I keep on saying to myself, "Why wasn't I like her when I was young?" Because ever since I was a kid, I've already had a bad relationship with people. Back then, saying hi or even giving a smile took a lot of energy from me. Smiling and greeting just didn't feel right. I remember my aunts telling me "Ngumiti ka naman. Lagi ka nalang nakasimangot." Probably that was one of the reasons why I grew up without any playmate aside from my brother and cousin.

My relationship with my grade school friends sucked a lot too. Back then, I had no idea why I was always left out. Why the cool group always bullied me. Why they always laughed at me behind my back. I had no idea until somebody slapped me in the face with the truth that they just didn't like me. Period.

I found real friends and company when I went to high school. And it continued til now that I am already in college. With them, I can talk and laugh all the time, and it feels good. But it all comes back to zero when I am not with them. I am still uncomfortable when it comes to talking to people. I still can't make friends in church. I am still the awkward person when I am with my relatives. I still put on my headset and turn up the volume so that I won't talk to them. Smiling still takes a lot of effort. Probably I won't be able to change any of that. Because that's me. That's me and I hate it.