Two Years Left

I'm being too much a burden to my parents. I feel bothered about it and I really hate to realize that I can't be of any help. I know we have a lot of things to pay for this summer (enrolment, annual car registration, my Dad's overseas trip and a whole lot more) and here I am adding up to the burden. It doesn't help that I am stuck here at home being a bummer for two months. 

Two more years of hardship then I'll be able to give back to my parents. And for that two years I promise to work my ass off and give the best that I can. Just hold on mom and dad. 

I am Ted Mosby

Ted Mosby is a character from my favorite comedy series, How I Met Your Mother. He is an architect who is tirelessly looking for "the one". He is die-hard believer of true love, wants to build a happy family and live happily ever after. He's an idealist, to put it shortly. He has gone through a lot of relationships, and sadly none of them was the right one for him. In Episode 23 of the fourth season, he said it all out: he said what his bestfriend Marshall and Lily have, he wants it. He wants something real love; something he'll spend with "the one" til the rest of his life.

But season 4 was a bad year for Ted Mosby. And this was when I finally got to relate with his character.

"That was the year I got left at the altar. It was the year I got knocked out by a crazed bartender, the year I got fired, the year I got beat up by a goat—a girl goat at that—and damn it if it wasn't the best year of my life. Because if any one of those things hadn't happened, I never would've ended up in what turned out to be the best job I ever had. But more importantly, I wouldn't have met your mother. Because, as you know, she was in that class. Of course, that story is just beginning."

If you're my friend, you'll surely know that 2009 was a bad year for me too. The year I almost got kicked out of the Dean's List, the year I turned my back on Him, the year that I spent the most number of nights crying alone, the year I almost got eaten by insecurity and emptiness of self-esteem (damn it,  who wouldn't if your face becomes like this?), and the year I totally screwed up and finally didn't know myself anymore. But if any of these things hadn't happened to me, I never would've known who my real friends are. I never would've felt my friends' and family's undying support. I never would've appreciated their importance in my life. I never would've learned a lot.

I don't know what will happen this 2010. Will things get better? Will I screw up again? I don't know a single thing. But 2009 gave me this piece of advice after a year-long of beating: my family and my friends got my back, and through it all God has been so good. And He will always be. 

To all the people who have helped me soldier on.

You know, when you get to pass a very hard time, all you can remember are the people who have helped you get through with it.

2009 was a year full of new experiences; but hey all the academic stuffs seemed trivial to all the other things that I have been through. I think I have felt all the emotion there is in a span of 12 months. And the people who have been with me through thick and thin are the ones who deserve all the space and the gratitude as I welcome 2010.

UST family

The snakeys and 3B are the source of my laughter drug. Whenever I am with them, I just forget every bad thing that I feel. All I know is happiness. Enjoying every moment, savoring college life, grabbing every opportunity. They taught me how to be happy while in the middle of a hectic schedule. To lie on the grass while doing a pile of props. To just laugh at our own mistakes. To just laugh it out. To try and try again. To never give up and be optimistic. Thank you guys.

My family

I have never been grateful for my family. They say God chooses the family you'll perfectly belong to, and His choices are never wrong. Maybe there are times that we get to wish to belong in a better family, but one day we will realize that our parents, siblings, and everything about our family is perfect for shaping us in the way God planned us to be. Whenever I feel down and bitter, I just look at them and I say "Why on earth am I feeling like this? I have all the reasons to be happy!" Thank God for my family.

Ghel and my hevers

My friendship with my hevers is not something superficial or founded on constant presence. You know, we don't have to be always seeing each other to keep our friendship strong. We just know that we have each other no matter what. We have surpassed time and distance, and for me that's what makes our friendship beautiful. This year, my hevers have proved how great they are as friends. They let me feel that I have them even though we are apart. They've given me support whenever I needed one. Not once did they turn their back on me.

This was also the year I started being roomies with Ghel. All year long, 5days a week, she was the one who I kept on talking to; telling stories, ranting about school, and just being random. No matter what I said, she always listened -- and it really helped. She knows the exact words to say whenever I am down and needs words of comfort. She boosts my confidence whenever I needed some.

I think we all missed listening to our theme song, hevers :) 



Anne Curtis said it: "When things go wrong, take a moment to say thanks for all the other things that went right." 
So thank you so much, guys! You're one of the right things that went right in my life. You don't know how grateful I am to have you. God bless all of us in 2010 and in all the years to come. 

Photo of the Day: Christmas '07

Vanessa was just six and I was just sixteen. Back in the time when that polka dress of my sister still fits her body, and back when I was still slim and zit-free. Gah I can't believe my skin looked that good on pictures! Oh, those were good times. Unfortunately (or rather fortunately) our camera is broken so we can't take a Christmas '09 photo for you guys to see how much I've changed -- my zits are rather shy you know. Haha!  Merry Christmas everyone! :)

P.S. This goes to the unfortunate side of not having a decent camera around: I can't show you how beautiful my HP book collection looks like now that I've finally completed the whole set! Yeah baby! Seven books right in my shelf! Awesome!

Photo of the Day: Heidy and Aldrin

A decade ago. Back when we still don't regularly brush our teeth and refuse to have an appointment with the dentist so we had to learn the hard way of dental care -- the slow decay of our teeth. Hehe.

Our baby's 8th.

She's the star, the clown, and the baby of the family. But for me, she's a bestfriend and a tropa. It seems just yesterday when the whole family's celebrating for her birth,thinking what name to call her. I suggested "Alyanna" and mom wanted "Trixie". But my dad won so now she's our one and only Vanessa. :) She may not be able to know about this now, but boy she already started playing y8 games, so I know she'll figure this blog out soon. Happy 8th birthday! I love you, my dear sister! :)

Random Post (Oh no not again!)

What's up people?

Next week is going to be packed with quizzes and reports to submit. And I can't seem to start with them right now because I still have to work on my sister's project. Here's a tip to the grade school teachers: Never assign projects that you perfectly know eight-year-old-students cannot do. Or perhaps they can do it but it won't look like a project at all. I mean who are you fooling? You are going to spend hours on grading projects that, clearly as the sunshine, were done by your students' parents, siblings or even neighbors. Follow my advice and you'll do yourselves a favor.

But enough talk about next week. Here's what happened last week.

• I bought a new calculator! :D It's the Sharp EL-W506. I wasn't supposed to buy a new one yet but we're now solving phasors in EE, and my old calculator seems to have difficulty solving it. And it's time to move on -- from one calculator to another. HEHE.
• I also purchased a hard-bound copy of The Da Vinci Code for only Php255.00. ;P
  
• New hurrcut. As in new. It's my first time to sport heavy layers. I mean my hair is now layered three inches from the top. So in other words, I am not only sporting the layers, also the waves and the fly-aways. Noooooo.

• Nahigad yung braso ko. Shet. Puro pantal grabe. Anyway, what's the english of higad? Hehe.
  
• Yesssss. I am done with the first season of How I Met Your Mother. Season 2 is going to be legendary! Suit up! :P
• And I finally got to watch G.I. Joe with my family. I LIKED IT. Even more than Transformers 2. Definitely a good popcorn movie. It's very entertaining and well, full of action. There were scenes when I was already at the edge of my seat. Nacarried away eh. Haha.
  

This is so random, I am running out of things to say. Have to say bye. May you have a good week ahead of you. God Bless. Muaa. :P

P.S. Bakit ganon? Tagalog ung Google Chrome ko.

a happy update after this.

Last night while I was studying for EE, I was shocked to see my dad eat his breakfast at 1:30am. I was wondering at first, then I realized that he was about to go to work at 2am! He barely got some sleep and that hit me hard. I mean, I am always, always complaining to them about the hard course subjects and all these majoring stuffs that keep me awake ‘til 2am almost every night. But here’s my dad who’s already awake at 2am just to go earn for our family. He attends to all the demands of his work, answers all messages even if he’s already sleeping and goes to work even during Saturdays and holidays yet I do not hear any complains from him.

After that, I felt that I am obliged to study hard and give my best shot. Not that they are obliging me, but what else can I do to repay all these sacrifices? I can’t do anything else besides give them good grades – good grades which I am having difficulty to earn this semester. That’s why I have to work extra hard on our prelims. Which reminds me, why am I online and actually blogging? Haha. Man, I should start on Mech. Will update after the exams. |BIG GRIN|. Bye!

P.S. Our pastor said yesterday, “Wag po nating pilitin na gawin ang lahat ng bagay mag-isa dahil hindi po ninyo kakayanin. You have the Lord Jesus Christ as your partner. Rest in Him. He will not leave you.” Jesus is my partner during this time. I declare high grades in all the prelim exams in Jesus’ name. Amen.

P.P.S. God loves you.

IT'S MY MOM'S DAY!

My mom is celebrating her 41st birthday today! :D Happy birthday Mom! You're the best! I never thought that my momma and I will get as close as we are now. Since my first year in college, we have started talking a lot more times than we have talked for the past 16years. College is a blessing to my relationship with my mom. Now she's my best friend and I always look forward to going home for me to talk to her about anything under the sun.

Love you mom!

SOMEDAY.

My dad bought a flat screen LCD a while ago. I was shocked when I saw it. He'd been persuading my mom to buy one, but my mom keeps on procrastinating by saying "next year nalang.." . I'm on her side, actually. That purchase didn't strike me to be anyhow important to us. It's just a waste of money. A luxury. Extravagance.

As if we could stop my dad from that.

I don't know what made me feel like this. My dad rarely buys something for himself. It's been ages since he last bought a shirt, and he bought his phone when I was still 3rd year high school. It is just fair for him to be allowed to buy something that he likes. But then, I wonder why I am not happy about it. Maybe I am not comfortable to see it in our living room, because it looks so grand and so off. It's expensive. It pains me to see it. You may wonder why...

I'm never a grand spender. I'm never the type of person who dreams of being filthy rich one day. As far as I could remember, I never said to myself the words "Paglaki ko, gusto kong maging kasing yaman nila.." Whenever I dream of myself as a rich and successful person, I see myself giving away my riches to the my needy loved ones and to the church. Maybe you'd tell that I'm a hypocrite, but I am just being honest with how I define "success" and "riches". I am happy with my life now. We are well-off and happy. I am contented with what the blessings that God gives to my family. Maybe that's the reason why I feel uncomfortable with these expensive things. I'd rather live simply.

But then, I am thankful. Honestly, I am much more thankful that God gave me a contented heart than the fact that our family is again being blessed. However, both ways, I am thankful. Very very much thankful. Not all people has this contented and happy heart of mine. It's a blessing from God.

One day, when it's the right time for me to move out and start a life of my own, I'd search for my own success and build my own riches. That time, my parents won't bother how I spend my money or to whom I give it to. As for me, I'd give my riches to help the church and to help my relatives. I have never known a better recipient than them. They've taught me everything I have to learn about having a humble life guided by Christ. Seeing them makes me feel happy and grateful with the life that I have. Not because they are struggling with life, but because they live with what they have happily as a rich person does. Why? Because they have Jesus in their hearts.

They've been Christ's instrument to help me.

One day, it's going to be my turn.

Happy Christmas!

Okay, first things first. I admit it, we're not the happiest/jolliest family during Christmas. I don't mean that we're not happy that it's Christmas, it's just that we are not the kind'a family you see on tv. Hehe. But really we're happy.

We celebrated and bonded on December 24, since we do not want to go with the Christmas mania during the day perse. That happened to us last Christmas '06 in moa. Dang, we were squeezed tah death. So we decided now to bond a day earlier. We spent our day in Alabang, Festival Mall then to my Aunt's place in Citta. It was fun to see my cousins. Some of them I have not seen for two years. I missed them! And then we set up the things we bought till 12am, Christmas day. Hehe.


I admit, our celebration is not that fun anymore since my lola isn't here in the country. We usually spend our Christmas day in her house because all her sons and daughters and apos go there to have a reunion. Oh well. Too bad her citizenship whatev asked her to stay for long in US.:(

Here in our compound, Christmas is always a very simple and humble. After all, it's not the day that matters, it's the spirit of Christmas. As our pastor says, everyday should be Christmas day. Coz everyday, till forever, we have the gift that God gave us the moment He send Lord Jesus Christ in this world. :)

God bless you.
Merry Christmas.

H.

the superficial

I was on my home when a sudden man caught my attention. He was wiping the side mirrors of the jeep and laying his palms in front of the driver, surely asking for some coins. The driver did not want to give him any, but his hands were persistent to have some. The driver gave him some after a long, hurting glare.

I could not keep my mind off that miserable thought. How many side mirrors does that man have to wipe for him to have enough money for dinner? In fact, how much is he earning out of that? Are his earnings even enough to buy himself some decent food? I could not fathom that horrible truth.

I feel sympathy towards those people. I really do. I am on my highest feeling of gratitude and honor for the Lord everytime I see them. This fact jolts my stomach, and makes me feel thankful and so blessed for what I have right now. It makes me feel happy and contented. It makes me stop wanting more. And most of the times, that fact makes me feel guilty.

• for wanting more clothes even though my closet doesn't have enough space to hang everything.
• for spending money on bags, even though i couldn't even use half of the bags I own.
• for forever complaining about my dry hair to my mom, while she was cooking though not feeling well.
• for being so maarte on stuffs I buy.
• for not giving importance, appreciation and proper care to my things.
• for not being able to thank my dad for everything.
  

I'm guilty for being a very superficial, discontented and materialistic.

The reality that not all people are blessed and well-priledged like the chosen few; the fact that what my mom has continuously been saying everytime I refuse to eat, "maraming tao ang nagugutom", is true --- these reality BITES, and it's really hurting me now.

mother's day

This mother's day, i'll give my mom:

a simple present made with my sister.
a break from all the things she needs to do at home.
a rest from all her obligations.
a cake. (hoping i could buy one)..

a hug, and some more love.

the world could reject us, friends may betray us, we could turn nasty and our fathers may not accept us back, but at the end of the day, we'll all realize that we have no one to run home to, but our moms.

"Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. "

-Aristotle-

SEVENTEEN

It seems just a week ago when people were greeting me for my 16th birthday. yet now, i am already 17.

I thank GOD for the great life He's blessed me with. His love is forever unconditional. i could not ask for more. all i want to do is give Him the all the praises.

My family is here for me. always.. i owe them this life. i love them. i thank them.

Thank you debbie and eric for being part of my birthday for five years already. be with me when i turn 35. :)

It'll be a heinous crime if ghel will skip feb17 for another special day. :P thanks for not skipping my day, beybeh.

All the people i've been with when i was in high school.. thank you! i so miss everyone.

1-3. it's been a great fresh start at college with all of you! it's been fun! thanks everyone.
let's study well. :D jowie: thanks for tolerating my addiction. :P


i'm one year older now. time flies so fast. we'll never notice that we're celebrating our 25th, 55th or 75th birthday already. aw! let's enjoy every moment. we'll never know if God will allow us to celebrate our next birthdays in-line.