I am HD

Ted Mosby is a character from my favorite comedy series, How I Met Your Mother. He is an architect who is tirelessly looking for "the one". He is die-hard believer of true love, wants to build a happy family and live happily ever after. He's an idealist, to put it shortly. He has gone through a lot of relationships, and sadly none of them was the right one for him. In Episode 23 of the fourth season, he said it all out: he said what his bestfriend Marshall and Lily have, he wants it. He wants something real love; something he'll spend with "the one" til the rest of his life.

But season 4 was a bad year for Ted Mosby. And this was when I finally got to relate with his character.

If you're my friend, you'll surely know that 2009 was a bad year for me too. The year I almost got kicked out of the Dean's List, the year I turned my back on Him, the year that I spent the most number of nights crying alone, the year I almost got eaten by insecurity and emptiness of self-esteem (damn it,  who wouldn't if your face becomes like this?), and the year I totally screwed up and finally didn't know myself anymore. But if any of these things hadn't happened to me, I never would've known who my real friends are. I never would've felt my friends' and family's undying support. I never would've appreciated their importance in my life. I never would've learned a lot.

I don't know what will happen this 2010. Will things get better? Will I screw up again? I don't know a single thing. But 2009 gave me this piece of advice after a year-long of beating: my family and my friends got my back, and through it all God has been so good. And He will always be. 

2009 was a year full of new experiences; but hey all the academic stuffs seemed trivial to all the other things that I have been through. I think I have felt all the emotion there is in a span of 12 months. And the people who have been with me through thick and thin are the ones who deserve all the space and the gratitude as I welcome 2010.

UST family
The snakeys and 3B are the source of my laughter drug. Whenever I am with them, I just forget every bad thing that I feel. All I know is happiness. Enjoying every moment, savoring college life, grabbing every opportunity. They taught me how to be happy while in the middle of a hectic schedule. To lie on the grass while doing a pile of props. To just laugh at our own mistakes. To just laugh it out. To try and try again. To never give up and be optimistic. Thank you guys.

My family

I have never been grateful for my family. They say God chooses the family you'll perfectly belong to, and His choices are never wrong. Maybe there are times that we get to wish to belong in a better family, but one day we will realize that our parents, siblings, and everything about our family is perfect for shaping us in the way God planned us to be. Whenever I feel down and bitter, I just look at them and I say "Why on earth am I feeling like this? I have all the reasons to be happy!" Thank God for my family.

Ghel and my hevers

My friendship with my hevers is not something superficial or founded on constant presence. You know, we don't have to be always seeing each other to keep our friendship strong. We just know that we have each other no matter what. We have surpassed time and distance, and for me that's what makes our friendship beautiful. This year, my hevers have proved how great they are as friends. They let me feel that I have them even though we are apart. They've given me support whenever I needed one. Not once did they turn their back on me.

This was also the year I started being roomies with Ghel. All year long, 5days a week, she was the one who I kept on talking to; telling stories, ranting about school, and just being random. No matter what I said, she always listened -- and it really helped. She knows the exact words to say whenever I am down and needs words of comfort. She boosts my confidence whenever I needed some.

I think we all missed listening to our theme song, hevers :) 



Anne Curtis said it: "When things go wrong, take a moment to say thanks for all the other things that went right." 
So thank you so much, guys! You're one of the right things that went right in my life. You don't know how grateful I am to have you. God bless all of us in 2010 and in all the years to come. 

2009 unleashed the bookworm in me, and as part of my year-end series of posts, here are my Top 5 Favourite Books that I have read this 2009:

5. Chump Change, by David Eddie

    David Henry, the main character, goes back to his hometown in Canada after getting chewed up and spitted out in New York City with only a chump change in his pocket. He goes home as a failure and asks himself, "was it really necessary to hit bottom before you could finally succeed? And if so, how do I explain that to my father?" It's not just some typical story of success. It is full of wit and is delightfully comic that anybody will just laugh their asses off while following David Henry's way to leave bottom. One of the most hilarious books I have ever read.

4. Angels and Demons, by Dan Brown

   Epic book. Very very very much enjoying. Dan Brown knows how to mix controversy, suspense and fiction all together in one great book. He's genius!

3. The Naked Face, by Sidney Sheldon

   I bought this book because it was one of the cheap-so-why-not-try-it books. I immediately fell in love with the way Sidney Sheldon writes mystery and suspense so following The Naked Face I have read a total of eight other Sidney Sheldon novels in 2009. If not for this novel, I wouldn't become a fan, and Andrew and Jowie wouldn't have given me Rage of Angels and If Tomorrow Comes -- the finest novels of Sidney Sheldon.

2. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, by J.K. Rowling

    The best ending Harry and company could ever have. There's closure, and it's not pilit like the way Twilight Series ended. You will think that Rowling have planned everything to end that way since book one. She stayed right on track with the main plot and ended it the way it should be. And blimey, I almost cried in admiration to Neville's valor.

1. The Shack, by William P. Young

    This is one of the books that have moved me -- and still moves me every time I read some of its parts again and again. The very plot of the book tugs at the heartstrings. I guess this is the kind of book that I will pass on to my sister, my children and my grandchildren simply because you can learn life from it.

Cheers to all these brilliant novels! Kudos to all the genius authors. May you continue to write great novels for all the book lovers out there, like me. xoxo.

Just write a comment if you disagree: 2006 was the year of the OPM and pinoy rock bands. Then came 2007, it was Secondhand Serenade and Paramore in my ears. (Or maybe it's just me. My classmates back then loved them foreign bands.) 2008 came, and it was the fall of the rockbands, and the rise of the foreign rnb songs once again. It was the year of Ne-Yo and Chris Brown. But this 2009, I am brave to say, is a Taylor Swift year. It's like everybody loves Taylor Swift. Kanye West made sure of that.

So here is a list of the songs that I kept on hearing, then eventually loved this 2009.

5.  You Belong with Me by Taylor Swift 

    When the world seemed to be under Taylor Swift's spell, to give her all-out support against Kanye West's douche attack they played this song -- over and over again. And who am I not to show my support for my Taylor love? ;)

4. Good Girls Go Bad, by Cobra Starship ft. Leighton Meester

    It's great. It's catchy. It's a hit. Plus it featured Leighton Meester, so that made it greater for my ears. Had I known that Leighton will turn as a clown in an attempt to make her pop career boost up...

3. Waking up in Vegas, by Katy Perry

    "shut up and put your money where your mouth is.." Prolly, that's what you'd get after listening to Waking up in Vegas. ;) I'd say this 2009, Katy Perry is one of the hitmakers!

2. Paparazzi, by Lady Gaga

    Here goes a hit from another hitmaker. A weirdly dressed hitmaker, that is. At first, I thought "what the hell was that song?" but after listening another time or two, I came to appreciate its catch and LagyGaga-ness. "I'll follow you until you love me." xoxo.

1. Party in the USA, by Miley Cyrus

   Forget all Miley's issues and controversies, and just look at her as a performer. I'll bet she'll look way prettier and better in your eyes. And who wouldn't bounce and move their hips like yeah when they hear this song? Party in the USA owns my 2009.

Here's to a year full of foreign pop hits. We never know, maybe 2010 is the year of the mainstream rock again, or maybe it's another Lady Gaga year for all of us. But as for me, I'll just cross my fingers that Cueshe never comes back.

Vanessa was just six and I was just sixteen. Back in the time when that polka dress of my sister still fits her body, and back when I was still slim and zit-free. Gah I can't believe my skin looked that good on pictures! Oh, those were good times. Unfortunately (or rather fortunately) our camera is broken so we can't take a Christmas '09 photo for you guys to see how much I've changed -- my zits are rather shy you know. Haha!  Merry Christmas everyone! :)

P.S. This goes to the unfortunate side of not having a decent camera around: I can't show you how beautiful my HP book collection looks like now that I've finally completed the whole set! Yeah baby! Seven books right in my shelf! Awesome!

Lord, to be honest I don't know how I will celebrate this Christmas – you know, a lot of things had happened to me. But looking around, seeing my family and looking back to my life, I have a lot to celebrate and be thankful for. From time to time I keep on losing my sight of You and I keep on letting You down but still You're here, still guiding me every time I stumble. Thank You for that. Thanks for giving me a wonderful family -- thank You for my wonderful and loving parents who never gives up on me. Thanks a lot for my friends who have never left my side. Had all these problems didn’t happen, I wouldn’t have known who my true friends are.

Thank You for giving Yourself to the world to redeem us from our sins. Thanks for teaching us the value of humility and kindness. Thanks for letting us know that we needn't extravagant gifts or a feast of foods to celebrate Your birthday -- we just need to have You.

You are the greatest gift a person has received, not only for this Christmas, but for eternity. Happy birthday Jesus! I love You!

Heidy.

(an excerpt from Life's Work, by Francis J. Kong)

Chuck Swindoll tells his unforgettable story about two men and a window in his book, Growing Strong.

Mr. Wilson and Mr. Thayer both seriously ill, shared a small room in a hospital. The room was just small enough for them - two beds, two bedside lockers and one window looking out into the world. Both of them had to remain quiet and still, which was the reason they were in the small room by themselves. They were grateful for the peace and privacy, but they were not allowed to do much. No reading, no radio and no television. They had to pass their day quiet and still, just the two of them.

As part of his treatment Mr. Wilson was allowed to sit up in bed for an hour in the afternoon, and his bed was next to the window. Mr. Thayer however had to spend all his time flat on his back. So every afternoon, when Mr. Wilson was propped up for his hour he would pass the time by describing what he saw happening through the window beside his bed.

The window apparently overlooked a park with a lake where there were ducks and swans, children throwing them bread, and young lovers walking hand in hand beneath the trees. There were flowers, softball games, people relaxing under the sunshine and, behind the fringe of trees, there was a fine view of the city skyline.

Mr. Thayer would listen to all of this, enjoying every minute of it. Mr. Wilson told him all about the child who nearly fell into the lake, the beautiful girls strolling in the park, a ballgame that came to an exciting conclusion, and a boy playing with his puppy. Mr. Thayer could almost see what was happening outside their small room.

One afternoon, while listening to Mr. Wilson describe the parade passing by, Mr. Thayer thought, "Why would Wilson get to be next to the window and have all the pleasure of seeing what was going on? Why shouldn't I have the chance, too?" He felt ashamed for thinking like that but the more he tried to put the thought out of his mind, the more strongly he wanted to be the one to see all those sights. He would do anything, he felt, for a chance to be  by the window.

One night as Mr. Thayer stared at the ceiling, Mr. Wilson suddenly awoke, coughing and choking, the fluid congesting his lungs. His hands groped for the call button but he couldn't reach it. Meanwhile Mr. Thayer did nothing. Mr. Wilson choked one final time and then stopped breathing altogether.

In the morning, when the day nurse came into the room with water for their baths, she found Mr. Wilson dead.

As soon as it seemed decent, Mr. Thayer asked if he could be moved to the bed next to the window. The doctor agreed, and the nurse tucked him into his new bed, making him quite comfortable. The minute he was left alone, he propped himself up on one elbow, painfully and laboriously, to look out the window. What he saw surprised him. The window faced a blank wall. 

Wow. It was one heck of a night.

Last December 18, 2009 UST celebrated it's annual campus-wide celebration, the Paskuhan. This year's Paskuhan marked the start of the official countdown to the quadricentennial celebration. As the clock ticked to 8pm that night, it was 4hours and 400 days before our school's 400th year -- then all the glistening christmas lights went on and the party began!

Archie Alemanya, Miriam Quiambao, JC Quadrado, Jamie Rivera, Rj Jimenez, Kuya Kim Atienza, Polo Ravales, and other famous UST alumni made an appearance that night. Actually we were hoping to death that Piolo Pascual would come too. But he didn't. Maybe in 2011 :P :P

was so enjoyable! It was like watching ASAP. Haha, you know, performance-filled and all that. Dang, a band of seminaritas performed I got a feeling, by B.E.P. and their vocalist was cuuuuuuute! Even Miriam Quiambao noticed it.

"Tapos na ang quatro oras.. simula na ng quatro dias", said Kuya Kim when the clock ticked to 12:00 midnight.  A ten-minute magnificent fireworks display shot up to the sky, accompanied by colorful confetti and christmas carols , that made us all open-mouthed with stiff necks. It was breathtakingly awesome.

4. It totally rocked out.

6 cycle mind and Sandwich were the guest bands of the night. When 6Cycle was about to finish we pushed our way to the front to get a good look of Sandwich and Mong Alcaraz. (Dammit, I never thought I'd enjoy singing with 6CycleMind and the rest of the crowd while waiting for Sandwich.) The crowd was good. We were singing and jumping (I was wearing heels for crying out loud) the whole performance. Sandwich ended the night ohsofine!

5. Great company

Thank you UST for a very grand and magnificent Christmas celebration! I seriously can't imagine how beautiful the 2011 Paskuhan will be. Merry Christmas!

I used to be optimistic and innocent and the world used to be filled with rainbow and colors in my eyes. But now everything is black and blue.

And I'm scared of what I am becoming.

(1) I have not opened my Bible for months. (2) I have not attended church for 4weeks straight until this Sunday. (3) Yes I attended, but I didn't listen. (4) I don't pray anymore. (5) I cuss a lot. I think I have said the P.I. and the eff word a hundred times this week, loudly and mostly mentally. And knowing that I barely even say shit three years ago defines the huge contrast. (6) Even at church, I didn't even make an effort to smile at people. The people in Belo (Fuck you pimples. I hate you more than anything in this world! I hate you that you have to make my parents depressed and always worried about my face. Die!) are very much nice but I treated them badly. Kill me now.

Yes, I am on the "getting worse" track. But I am not proud of this. Save me. Please.