I was so saturated, tired and empty yesterday when I met up with my best friends. It was a day that I have been looking forward to for so many weeks already and finally it happened. The weather was also kind to me: bright and sunny without any hint of clouds but with a slight breeze to relieve the humid. I don't usually appreciate those small things but given my current situation, I'd rejoice for even a sight of Matteo Guidicelli at Jamba Juice (which actually happened). Good weather plus tired soul plus this song playing on the way = perfect music video-ish moment. 

It's not that I'm in a state of torture or anything, but where most of us right now isn't paradise either. Hmm, marathon. That's how I'd like to call it. Very long and tiring; pushing us to the limits but when we're done, it's very much fulfilling. Even though I'm complaining from time to time, with all of the stuff and VIRTUES that I'm learning from this marathon, I wouldn't trade it for a walk in the park. It's amazing how we can appreciate these things because of maturity, no? 

This song is just so fitting for me in all the vague reasons. Being successful in life, having been gone to beautiful places but realized she have not lived for herself at all. I know, it's for moms and successful and busy people but I can relate to it I don't know why. Okay, maybe because of my constant struggle to fulfill my good daughter duties that I realized I forgot to give myself what I want. That I have never experienced that exhilarating, i'd-cross-this-off-my-bucket-list level of happiness for myself gave me a pang of regret.

I don't want to be this song. 30 years from now, when I look back on my life, I don't want to be disappointed with what I will see.  I will pursue my paradise.