I am HD

In the seven years that I have been writing my thoughts in this little blog, I have never ever said anything about the matters of my heart, my relationship status, my dating life, or whatever you call it. I think it’s time to address the big elephant in the room. *Drumroll*

I am single. In my twenty three years of living, I have never been in a relationship. And I cannot count the number of times I get asked about the reason behind it and the vague answers that I gave them; also the many times I wanted to strangle people who gave assumptions as to why I am this way: 

Oh yeah I totally just made up the last one. 

Maybe they’re trying to help but I just want to say that it’s really offensive to shame my single status as if it’s my fault and as if it’s a mistake to be one.

Yes, it's sad when all of my friends aren't available to go with me to the movies, no one to hang-out with during weekends or Valentines day etcetera, etcetera. And I won't deny the nights that I've thought about the reason as to why I'm not dating and the days when I kept on saving my self-esteem from falling apart. 

The various reasons as to why I haven't been in a relationship range from "I was so young back then" to "I was just not feeling it" and all boils down to "Me and my choices." It's me. I could have flirted to any guy who shows interest in me and adios singledom -- but I didn't.

I don't want to be in a relationship for the sake of having one. I don't want to date just for the perks of having a constant company, instagifts, flowers and chocolates and butterflies. And even if days get lonely, I don't want to date just because I feel miserable.

I enjoy being alone as much as being with a company. I enjoy many activities such as eating out, cooking, reading, travelling, watching movies and running -- all by myself. I'm not saying that it's better than being with someone but my life doesn't need a man to be happy. Because I'm single, I can freely discover new places and meet new people. I can shape my life and plan my future without a man's influence on my decisions. I can write my own story.

I want to date when I'm happily contented with myself. When my life is already filled with stories and adventures that I did when I was still alone. When my mind is overflowing with ideas and passion. When my heart is full of happiness and contentment with how my life is going. When all that is left for me is to share it with someone. Someone who is willing to continue writing the story with me.

They say we meet the right person through luck, randomness and circumstance and we won't see him coming. But until that day comes, I'd like to keep myself busy and not date every guy who appears in front of me. I don't think it is a bad thing at all.