I have awesome friends back home who have so much life and career ahead of them. I have a family who is very willing to support me in every endeavor I make. And that’s it – they are all of my happiness. I’m not saying that they are not enough for me but sometimes I wonder if I depend much of my happiness on other people that I forget to be happy with myself. Now I’m away from all of them and I’m trying to be as happy as my photos seem to be but remove all the cherry blossoms, good views, the coats and scarves …I have nothing. I have no one. I’m alone in this. I’m just a struggling student in a public university trying to learn as much on this dignified researcher / post grad stint that will only last for two springs. After two years, more of my friends would have been married, started a family, got promoted and what not. My brother would be getting his first job and my sister will be in high school by then. All of the big moments will happen when I’m out of the picture and it scares the shit out of me.