Before I was hit by last year's Great Depression, I used to have a healthy set of hobbies like running, working out, reading fiction novels and watching artsy movies. Fast forward to the present, all I do during my free time is scroll my Facebook feed. Don't get me wrong, it's not as if I have plenty of free time these days. Here's a breakdown of my life:
8-9AM: Wake up, cook breakfast, take a shower.
9-5: Work
6-8PM: Dinner, chat a bit with Jay about our day, prepare lunch for the next day
8-10PM: Take a shower, watch a korean drama (the only hobby I haven't lost my interest in) sleep
Some of you might point out that I could have squeezed in a hobby like reading a novel instead of sleeping early, but how could you deprive a depressed woman of her much-needed sleep? K, kayo na ang puyat.
My weekends go like this:
9-10AM: Wake up, make breakfast, dishes
10-12PM: Clean the kitchen, laundry, hang clothes
12-1PM: Lunch, dishes
1-4PM: Clean the house, wash the bedsheets while the sun is still out, clean the toilet, take a shower
4-6PM: Collect and fold our fresh clothes, rest to hold on to my dear life
6-8PM: Dinner, chat with Jay, dishes.
Our bodies don't stop feeling hungry on Sundays so we do the same routine to stay alive, then go to the supermarket.
Hello adulting.
Add the fact that since I got depressed, I've lost interest in mostly everything in life. Like I said on Twitter, all movies are either trying hard or very underwhelming, and all songs sound like pure noise. Plus I have already given up on meeting new friends here. As long as I'm happy with my relationship with Jay and with the relationships that I have at home, that's enough.
I'm slowly accepting the fact that my time here will probably be a very miserable, at most neutral, experience and I'm starting to believe that it's okay. If this chapter in my life is meant to be difficult and unhappy, then so be it. I'm tired of trying to feel otherwise.
