Food for the Soul

We are investing our time in this country, more than anything else. You are what, 23? Your 20’s is the most crucial part of your life. How you spend this decade will mostly define what you will do for the rest of your life. That’s why I’m telling you to learn everything that you can in this land. No, don’t just learn from the books. You can learn all these theories in your country, if not better. I’m saying that you’ve got to immerse. Spend time with the local people, try to learn their language and understand their culture. Not everyone will be nice and willing to make friends with foreigners because of the language barrier. But you got these people around you --nice Koreans who are willing to help you and make friends with you despite the challenge of communication. Appreciate them. I mean, what are the chances that you will get to see them again after 2 years? Savor the days. Find happiness anywhere you go. Yes we don’t have the luxury of time to tour this land, but I’m sure when you really open your eyes you can see all the beauty that this country can offer. I know there will always be something missing in our hearts that only home can fill, but take what you can get. If you manage to do all these, that’s the only time you can say that you really learned. 

 - (not exact) Words of wisdom from my friend who has lived in this country for six years.

Learn from People

In life you meet different kinds of people. You meet some in the boring ride in the subway. You meet a nice seatmate in a conference. You meet friends during your stay in a foreign country. Not everyone will be good to you. Not everyone will become your friends. Some will just say hi. Some will be a bitch. But every day that you’re given a chance to meet new people, always keep in mind to learn something from them. It could be a simple fact that the temperature in Dubai is awfully hot or what is the marrying age in Korea or what is “how are you” in Hanggul. It could be a more sensible conversation about seeking for work-life balance. It may be a painful lesson that regardless of what they say, you cannot trust all people. Or, if you’re lucky you can learn that some people will really stay with you and you'll be willing to stick with them too. Learn from all of them.

A Different Kind of Happy

The other day I was talking to a friend about the sad side of living away from home. I told him my sentiments. Lately my siblings are always sending me messages saying they miss me a lot. My friends are being more awesome than ever because they are always with me during my meltdowns despite the distance. They listen to my random stories and we joke on each other and they make me feel as if I never left. I loved them more when I went away. Everybody knows that my friends and family are my rock. Now that I am away from them, I feel the separation anxiety and it’s difficult for me to be happy. 

But as my friend said, there are other kinds of happiness. A fulfilling career, the joy of learning, travelling to new places, meeting new people, gaining new friends – it can bring happiness to a person. It just happened that my happiness depended on people and now that I am far from them, my focus shifted and got blurred. But yes, he’s right. I can still be happy. 

I have to find different kinds of happiness on every corner of my new life. To fill the jar of happiness with memories, new experiences, fulfillments, peace of mind, life realizations, appreciations and lessons and to take it with me wherever I go. So when it’s time for me to come back home, my happiness jar will be overflowing that I have to share it with other people.

Two Springs

I have awesome friends back home who have so much life and career ahead of them. I have a family who is very willing to support me in every endeavor I make. And that’s it – they are all of my happiness. I’m not saying that they are not enough for me but sometimes I wonder if I depend much of my happiness on other people that I forget to be happy with myself. Now I’m away from all of them and I’m trying to be as happy as my photos seem to be but remove all the cherry blossoms, good views, the coats and scarves …I have nothing. I have no one. I’m alone in this. I’m just a struggling student in a public university trying to learn as much on this dignified researcher / post grad stint that will only last for two springs. After two years, more of my friends would have been married, started a family, got promoted and what not. My brother would be getting his first job and my sister will be in high school by then. All of the big moments will happen when I’m out of the picture and it scares the shit out of me.

The Last Forever with How I Met Your Mother

“Kids, I’m going to tell you a story. The story of How I Met Your Mother..”

I first heard this line back in 2008 when Ghel and I started watching the show. The first episode got me hooked and I remember saying “Hey I found my new favorite show.” I consistently and repeatedly watched the episodes and I fell in love more and more with Ted, Lily, Marshall, Robin and Barney.

No joke but I think my own gang became close because of HIMYM. During our awkward days, when we have no story to talk about, HIMYM became our common ground.  We got our own blitz, glass-shattering thoughts, oh! Moments and we even dreamed of our own MacLarens.

HIMYM felt very real to me. I related to Ted’s pains, saw most of myself in Robin’s walls and ambitions, laughed at Barney’s ways, and adored Lily and Marshall’s love story. Each episode, I took home something that was emotionally uplifting. In more ways than one, they really taught me how to live. That’s how personal HIMYM and I became.

Which is why I’m still reeling on the ending that happened.

I didn’t like that Robin and Barney got divorced after spending the entire season planning their wedding. I didn’t like that Barney went back to his jackass ways after the divorce and even got another playbook and fuck if he really completed a perfect month of sex. I didn’t like that all of a sudden he’s mature again after seeing his lovechild. Yes, maybe a kid can really change your life but in the narrative sense I felt that it was rushed and forced just for the sake of showing a matured Barney. I didn’t like that the Mother died just that fast. I felt sad that after 9years of waiting for her, the show just gave a minute showing Ted’s married life with her – and then she died. Just like that. Really, Show, if you’re really going for the death track you should have at least made it super dramatic. But not even a funeral was given. It seems unfair for Ted and the Mother. I didn’t like that Ted and Robin got together in the end. They didn’t have to be together just because the last scene was planned and filmed nine years ago. There was just so much build up on the Mother being so awesome and perfect for Ted that’s why I was really looking forward to seeing many scenes of them together in the end. But sadly it didn’t happen that way.

But on the other hand, it now made sense why Ted began with the story of how he met Aunt Robin. It made sense why on the first season where Ted met a stripper named Tracy, he joked to the kids that it was how he met Mom because her name is Tracy McConell (clap clap on the continuity, Show). It made sense that amidst all the fun stories that Ted told, the fun was never about him. The fun was all about Barney and his adventures, Lily – Marshall and Robin-Barney’s love story. Most of the stories about him were about his many failed attempts on love, how he got left at the altar, how he got hit by a goat -- and boy did he emphasized all of that. All because he was telling the kids that without the Mother, before he met her and after she died, his heart will always be sad. It made sense on the ugly reality that people die; friends change priorities and fall apart; and no matter how truly people fall in love, some relationships are really not meant to last. I appreciated all of that.

I wish the Show ended on the train with Ted’s monologue on the background telling how thankful he was for approaching her. That he was thankful for the life they have built, no matter how short it was. I wish they showed Lily, Marshall, Robin and Barney on the porch with Ted – gray hair and all that. Because I believe the show wasn’t just about Ted’s love story– it was the five of them being for each other and for Ted.

It was just a so-so hour among the many good half-hours in nine years that HIMYM gave us. After all, it’s just 2014. Ted and the Mother are probably having a date at Central Park right now and talking about Renaissance and Star Wars. I’ll think of it that way.

I’ll miss you HIMYM. Thank you for being here in my youth’s many big moments … and for actually being one of the big moments of my life.