Randomness

Belated Happy Father's day to all the dads out there. I wasn't able to greet on time because I'm kinda losing my blog fetish. Hehe.

School started last week. As usual, it's dull. The professors weren't yet in the mood to discuss so we're usually dismissed early. We usually had 2-3hrs break everyday last week. Err. You know, I really missed our block. Due to our different schedules, we rarely all meet up. So this is one of the rare times. Picture picture! Nick was our photographer. May potential, hehe.

Jane Aldridge!! I can never brave her fashion style because, uhm, I find most of it weird. But I love the way she carries herself with all the clothes plus the super high-heeled shoes. She's a sophisticated, radiant and blond Texan chic. You gotta love this girl!

Will Smith. Great actor. Producer. Witty. Family man. Happy person. Overall nice guy. My number one favorite!! I love love love this man. Brad Pitt, move over.

so long, sweet summer

Haaaay! My Summer 2009 is officially OVER! And I couldn't be anymore sad to think about that. :(

Summer 2009 played over my mind and emotions. Happiness, contentment, thankfulness, grief, extreme frustration, pain, jealousy, anger, name it -- all these smacked during summer! It was the craziest summer I ever had. On superlative, yes, because I wouldn't dare dream of a crazier one.

But God is so brilliant and wise that He's turned this crazy summer to a Character Building workshop. I couldn't even count how much have I learned from this experience. Praise God!!

So summer's over!! Hello another season! I'm ready to turn a new leaf and start over. I'm ready to move on from everything that I've experienced from this past months. In fact, I'm not just moving on, I'm really moving! Tomorrow, I'll be leaving for dorm. So I'll save my stories til my next log-in. Actually I just dropped by to make an official closure to my beautiful summer. I couldn't just leave it hanging. Hehe.

Top 5 reasons why I'm here on Blogspot.

1. archive index

Hahaha! A very lame reason, I know. I used to blog in Multiply, but I transferred here because I want a blog that has an archive index list. Haha! Mababaw e. Sorry naman! After sometime, I want my archive index to be a fooooooot long!! :D

2. peoplealwaysleave and lexstallione

My hevers' blogs are here too, and it's sort of a form of communication for us. FYI, it was Debb who encouraged me to sign up here. Thanks to her! Then I forced Eric to blog here too. Haha! I am the one who edits his html and everything because he's one lazy guy when it comes to that. No hyperlinks because we are very private bloggers. We don't promote our blogs. Haha! Arte lang ;P

3. bianca gonzales

I admire her for sticking to her site for almost six years already! I'm an impulsive blogger so I tend to sign up to different blog hosts and transfer every now and then. This is my 4th blog (from blog.com to wordpress to i.ph then here) site already and when I saw Bianca's site and I told myself I'm not gonna transfer and cancel this blog anymore like I used to, wayback.

4. html

It's one of the very few blog sites that offers html-editing feature. Plus it's really really easy to edit. I learned a lot from editing this site every now and then.


5. just because..

I love blogging, writing, composing or whatever you call it. As long as it's in a form of writing down my thoughts, I'm into it! Ever since I was a child, I was already into writing down my feelings or anything under the sun. Howd'you call it? A born-blogger? Haha! Corny.

P.S.
I'm trying to be more active here than in my tumblr. Plus I'm trying to say a lot here. Pansin niyo ang daldal ko? Haha! Pangpahaba lang ng blog and to make it more worth reading. I know you're sick of my randomness. But I'm trying, you know. Hehe.

My happiness is wearing off.

I’m a girl whose eyes are always set to see the beautiful. Always. May it be a person, a place, a happening, I always see its beautiful side. Even in my life, despite of every problem I’m facing, I feel happy even because of the simplest things in my life. Makita ko lang mommy ko masaya na ko. I don’t usually dwell on my problems. I want people to see me happy all the time because the last thing I want them to see is a defeated Heidy. And for me, being succumbed by any problem means a defeat. I also don’t want to burden them by my problem, or even by the pity they think they're ought to show. They won’t stop their lives for me, and even if they do, I don’t want them to. That’s why I spent all these months banking happiness inside me --looking for every little reason to be happy and keeping it inside me.

I write all these optimistic stuffs trying to make my happiness more concrete. I talk happily with everyone. I smile a lot when I’m in front of my family, play with my sister, and talk a lot with my mom.I keep in touch with all my friends online-- debb, eric, jowie, and the rest of my good friends. We talk about all the hype, gossips, jokes and everything. I feel happy whenever I talk to them. My friends have no idea how happy– no, ecstatic— I am while talking to them, but after that I’m empty again. When I’m alone it’s like I can’t smile anymore. It’s not that I’m faking my happiness in front of them. My happiness is genuine whenever I’m with them. But my problem is as real as my happiness. And it’s beating me to death whenever I’m alone, eating all the happiness my friends and family is giving me. And every single time, I’m holding on for dear happiness.

Pero napapagod din ako. Not all the time I can handle this well. And this is one of those down moments. My friends are planning a get together tomorrow and I told them I couldn’t come, because I really really can’t. I know I will be very happy with them cracking jokes, talking about anything for what seems like forever, and just being together. I miss them so much, sobra, but I can’t see them. Because I feel like I’m going to crack up with all this carnival ride of emotions. I’ve never been this tired and weak. Ang hirap. Nakakapagod.

Naisip ko lang.

Ilang ulit na ba ko pinanghinaan ng loob? Ilang ulit na ba ko muntikan ng sumuko? Sa totoo lang hindi ko na matandaan. Pero eto pa din naman ako, buhay pa -- at masaya. Kahit naman anong pagdaanan ko, kahit kailan di naman Niya ko iniwan. Hndi naman titigil ang mundo para makiramay sa problema ko. Di rin naman ako sasaya kung susuko ako. Saglit lang naman ang buhay dito. Saglit lang magtitiis. Saglit lang sasaya. Naisip ko lang, bakit ko pa sasayangin yung saglit na meron ako?